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An Old and Awful Episode VIII Rewrite

Here's my old and pretty nonsensical rewrite of Episode VIII. This was all based on ideas I had back fresh off after when I saw TFA what I expected for Episode VIII. Enjoy!
Star Wars Episode VIII: A Spark of Resistance
A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...
We start not with the logo and crawl but with the side view of Luke Skywalker’s face and the shot of Rey holding out his father’s lightsaber to him and she hands him the lightsaber and he observes it. He makes a joke that it’s in good shape but it’s missing a hand. He continues to ask who Rey is and why is she here. Rey explains herself and Luke comes to her side and the two walk down the hillside together and we cut to the logo and crawl:

Luke Skywalker has been found. With the unlikely help of
a scavenger named Rey and a runaway stormtrooper named
Finn, THE RESISTANCE was able to find the Last Jedi before
the evil FIRST ORDER.

Although the New Republic is decimated, a small fragment of freedom
fighters in touch with General Leia Organa are willing to put
their time and effort to fix the mess done by their enemies.

Exposed by their victory over Starkiller Base, the Resistance rushes
into hiding as the First Order races toward their base on D'Qar, ready for

After the crawl, we see transport ships fleeing the planet of D’Qar and General Leia Organa is on the surface with Kaydel Ko Connix and Admiral Ackbar explaining her strategy on how the evacuation is going to work. She then asks where Poe is. Poe is racing to get an unconscious Finn onto a transport with BB-8 and C-3PO and once they do, the First Order led by General Hux and a new character, Captain Canady lead the attack, but Hux is upstaged by Canady because of Canady’s brilliant thinking. Poe and BB-8 get onto an X-Wing and head into space despite Leia’s warnings, yet he says to prepare the Y-Wings as a backup if all goes array.
In space, Poe makes a message to Canady and Hux saying he can surrender over himself and BB-8 to them, as they wanted in the last movie and all will be fine but they refuse and Poe does a cockamamie run on Hux and Canady’s fleet of Star Destroyers. Leia signals the Y-Wings to attack and a battle begins. Canady manages to unleash the Tie Strikers, updated from “Rouge One” and they take out the Y-Wings. But when all seems lost, New Republic warships appear out of nowhere to save the day. They are lead by Republic Vice Admiral Holdo, who is described by many as a classy and well-dressed lady who leaves a lot of messes behind her and never gets dirty (she also has blonde hair and NOT purple hair.) The Republic side manages to help the Resistance win and they escape. Supreme Leader Snoke, furious from the First Order’s defeat contacts Hux and Force Chokes him, but Canady comes to his side but assures him that all is according to his plan.
On the main Resistance Transport, Finn slowly wakes up by whispering “Rey” and screams it. Finn as we saw in the opening has been put into a bacta suit and has scars up his back which has a placement for a mechanical spine. C-3PO and Poe come in with a Kel Dor doctor and are surprised he wakes up. Finn is happy to see Poe but asks where is Rey.
We cut to the next scene where on Atch To at night, Luke, Chewbacca, and Rey are at a campfire by the Millenium Falcon and Luke is recapping of what was said offscreen: Han is dead, the Republic is destroyed and Leia wants him back. Rey also states that something is awake in her and she wants his help, which is why Leia chose her to come to find him. Luke says he came to this island to find answers on the Jedi but he found nothing, now he lives in peace because it’ll protect his family and friends. But Rey takes on what he said which angers him and they argue until Luke unleashes a possible Force Storm on Rey and he calms himself, showing her why he can’t go back, he’s become too powerful for himself and for others, which is also why he failed Ben. He goes up to his hut for the night but Rey says she’s not leaving this island without him, no matter what. In the hut, Luke grieves for Han’s death and so does Leia on the transport.
Meanwhile, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo has arrived on Mustafar on what was Darth Vader’s Castle which is now Supreme Leader Snoke’s Castle. In the throne room, Snoke is communicating with a hologram of Canady as he finishes explaining his plan to him. Snoke acknowledges this and turns off the hologram. Kylo approaches Snoke and removes his helmet to reveal his damaged face from the ending of the last movie (the scar has NOT been moved!) Snoke derails Kylo for his failure and how he was defeated by a girl who never held a lightsaber in her life and how they lost Starkiller Base and how the First Order is now in shambles. But he promised Hux he would continue his training and he will. Snoke presses a button and the Knights of Ren enter the room and he uses a Force Trick on three of them to attack some of the Knights and Kylo beginning the session. Snoke smiles and watches on.
On Atch To, Rey plays with a dying campfire as the morning rises with Chewbacca gathering food and messing with the birds. Rey wonders if she’ll ever get the training she needs and we hear a familiar voice. She stands up and the voice chuckles. She follows it and grabs her staff and follows the voice up the hills to a tree where she looks back to the Falcon, wondering to turn around and the voice appears again and she turns to see the Force Ghost of Yoda. She is curious by the little ghostly green figure, for she’s never seen something like him before. But Yoda assures her that this planet has a powerful connection to the Force and all things can happen here. She gives him some questions and he says all will be answered in due time but he says he knows Luke and they walk around and see Luke’s daily routine like catching a fish, cooking out, and cleaning his hut (no laundry, or milking a space cow here.) Rey wonders more of Luke and asks if Yoda could ask Luke if he could train her. But Yoda says that sometimes it takes something more than just talking to convince someone.
Back at the Resistance and Republic Fleet, Leia promotes Holdo to be her right-hand woman leaving Poe in the dust because of the Battle at D’Qar. But Holdo assures him that she can help him out in whatever way she can to gain Leia’s trust again and promote him to Captain. Holdo here is going to play a bigger role in the Trilogy and is going to be a lot more likable and prominent than in “The Last Jedi.” At the First Order, following in Canady’s plan, Hux is demoted to Lieutenant Hux and Canady is made a General in his place, Kylo Ren arrives with the Knights of Ren with commands of Snoke and with the directions to the Resistance rendezvous point.
Back on Atch To, Luke sneaks aboard the Falcon to reminisce the days of his youth when he first got onto the Falcon and finds an old hologram of his training on the Falcon and silently weeps. R2-D2 wakes up and reunites with him. He and R2 talks and Luke states that there’s no way he’s going to come back and nothing can make him change his mind. But R2 shows him Leia’s message from A New Hope, the message that started his journey from a long time ago and he goes to tell Rey that at dawn tomorrow, they begin her Jedi Training which delights Rey.
At the Republic and Resistance Fleet, the First Order appears from Hyperspace and attacks, lead by Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren in their unique designed Tie Fighters. Poe tries to go for his but it’s destroyed by Kylo. Kylo then feels a Force connection between him and Leia but ignores it and fires at the bridge. Leia manages to save herself by using a Force Shield and saving herself and everyone and they race into the hallway where Leia passes out from using the Force. Kylo and the Knights are ordered by Canady to return to the Fleet but Kylo asks what about the Resistance. Canady says that he has something special to destroy them from the inside out.
Meanwhile, Rey wakes up to find herself annoyed by The Caretakers of Atch To who watch over the First Jedi Temple. Rey then hears noises and is Force Linked to Kylo Ren and he’s unaware of it at first until she shoots him in the side. She tries to run from him until he reaches out his hand while he’s in the middle of his star destroyer hanger. They talk and he taunts her about Han Solo and what he’s been up to with her friends and the Resistance. He then sees Luke and the Force Link ends. Luke asks Rey what she was doing and she dismisses it and he takes her to a room in the mountain of the Jedi Temple, and he has her meditate on an island in the middle of a pond. All around her things levitate as she sees things around the island, then another familiar voice is heard and starts cackling evilly. Luke hears it and tries to make Rey snap out of it but she’s in a trance. She wakes up and Luke says he should take a break for a bit and Rey asks why. She thinks Luke knows something about her and if so he needs to tell her. Luke responds: “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before. In Ben Solo. It didn’t scare me enough then. It does now!”
At the fleet, the First Order continues blasting on the Republic Fleet and Holdo is made in command with Leia put into treatment for her overuse of the Force. Finn is starting to get worried about Rey and tries to sneak away from Poe and the Resistance to an escape pod but someone catches him, a new character, Rose Tico. Rose claims she’s heard the story about how he defected from the First Order and became a hero and fought Kylo Ren single-handedly. She is impressed and he tries to smoothen up to her and Poe finds them and asks about what is going on and the three get back up to Holdo where she gets the idea on how to stop the First Order from destroying all their ships. There’s a codebreaker on the not too distant world of Cantonica on the city of Canto Bight and there they can sneak into the main First Order Star Destroyer lead by Canady and deactivate it’s tracking device and put a cloaking device over the Resistance and Republic ships. Rose and Finn volunteer to go and Poe advises they take BB-8 because they’ll need a droid. They use a smaller transport with a prototype cloaking device to avoid the First Order and head to Cantonica.
On Atch To, Luke and Rey continue with her training as he times her on her running and Force dodging of many boulders and he practices with her dueling with a Lightsaber and he wonders how is she so good. She replies with luck and he states that he like his master before him believe there’s no such thing as luck (referencing Obi-Wan.) The two calls a break and Rey goes to eat a fruit growing from a bush which she spits out because it’s gross and Yoda appears again to her. He asks if she is happy and she says yes. But he tells her that he has a test for her. There is an abyss in the far end of the island, where a cave dwells and the darkness swells and no light is shown. She makes it there and hears the same familiar cackling again and falls into the abyss and into the water where she tries to swim but almost drowns. She is then saved by the downed X-Wing of Luke’s, left behind from years past and she ignites her lightsaber to see and she finds a reflective wall, she asks if she could see her parents but instead sees her face morphing into something hideous and old. She doesn’t make it out why this is but when she looks again she sees a dark figure and a red sword. She thinks it’s Kylo Ren and uses her lightsaber to break the wall. It crumbles but she runs away and it makes a stairway up back to the surface for her.
Finally, Finn, Rose, and BB-8 arrive at Canto Bight and Canto Bight is the Star Wars equivalent of Las Vegas with large casinos, statues, and replicas of familiar Star Wars locations like Cloud City, Theed Royal Palace on Naboo, and the Senate Building on Coruscant. In the main casino, Rose, Finn, and BB-8 run into Maz Kanata who’s been trying to make a fortune back after the destruction of her castle from the last movie and they tell her of their plan and she tells them to find a man with a metal ruby rose. After some exposition with Rose and some antics with BB-8 being thrown around by the patrons and being confused as a server and a slot machine, Finn gets into it with a four-armed bearded creature who just lost a huge game and takes his anger out on Finn. Then a man with the same metal ruby rose described by Maz comes over and tells the creature to leave Finn alone. The creature tries to go at it with the man but he shoots first, killing the creature. He grabs Finn and Rose and they run with BB-8 out of the Casino before security can arrest them. This man turns out to be a multi persona smuggler named D.J. who is from Baatu and started off as an Imperial Agent but defected to pursue a life of crime and took on the persona of a con man, a junkie, a swindling gambler, and many more. He shows them to his ship and they take off with the security of Canto Bight in hot pursuit and they chase them through Canto Bight and they escape into space.
That night on Atch To, Rey is trying to collect herself from the vision in the wall and she is linked back to Kylo Ren and he wonders again what is happening and he asks where she is. But before she can do anything, Luke calls for her and he takes her a Uneti Tree at the center of the Island. This Uneti Tree was once a Force Tree, planted a long time ago and was the keeper to the Sacred Jedi texts, a collection of scrolls and books engraved by Jedis from times of old. Luke started his own but left it unfinished. Rey asks why it was because it when he came to the island in the first place he saw greatness to complete himself but when he discovered it all, he found nothing so he was going to commit suicide. Until Rey found him. He goes deeper into the past and says he was broken because of Snoke and the fall of Ben Solo.
Ben was his nephew and one of his best students but Snoke came into his Jedi Order, disguised as one of his own council members, and seduced Ben. Sensing the Dark Side and seeing what he could do to Ben’s future, he went to confront Snoke in his hut, potentially killing him, but Snoke blasted him back with the Force and brought the whole hut down on him. He took Ben and they returned and slaughtered all of Luke’s students and burned down the Temple. Luke looks at Rey sorrowfully but Rey assures him that she won’t be a failure to him and she’ll be the next chapter in his scroll.
In hyperspace, Rose, D.J., and Finn plan out how they’re going to get into the fleet unseen and undetected. Finn having knowledge of the First Order says if they can seek through the backend of the ship through one of the hidden access ports then they’ll steal some officer uniforms and get to the tracking device to shut it down and contact Holdo and Poe to activate the cloaking device. They arrive and active their cloaking device again and give updates to Poe and Holdo on what they’re doing.
On Atch To, Luke meditates and makes a connection to Leia waking her from her injuries. Luke falls to the rock and puts a hand on his head and looks back down to the hut Rey is at and it starts to rain. Inside, Rey is trying to meditate but is interrupted by another Force Link from Kylo Ren, this time with him training with the Knights of Ren in a Star Destroyer room, they all feel her presence. Rey is somehow enchanted by Kylo this time and she feels more connected to him since the vision in the wall and they put out their hands and touch. Luke feels what is going on and races down but sees the two and uses the Force to destroy the hut. Rey is embarrassed but Luke yells at her because she doesn’t realize what she’s done. And then they look in the sky and they see, Kylo Ren’s Star Destroyer appearing out of Hyperspace and his shuttle landing on the island not too far by. Luke tells her to get them and she asks what he’ll do. But Luke says he’s got a plan.
Rey ignites her lightsaber and races for the shuttle, but it’s empty. Then Kylo Ren’s red lightsaber comes flying at her but she dodges it but it leaves a scar on her left arm. It’s Kylo Ren, now in a mask again. The two duel but she’s no match for Kylo and she is defeated. Back inside the Temple, the Knights of Ren search around for Luke, but he is meditating on the same island on the same pond Rey was on. They run for him and he uses Force Freeze on them (Force Freezing is the equivalent of Super Breath,) then Force Bending, which he uses the Earth around them to be lifted and thrown around with the Knights and Force Fire (which is when you rub your hands together to create fire.) Luke uses the Force then to Force lift and push all the Knights out of the temple and into the mud of the hillside of the Island but before he could do any Lightsaber action of something, Kylo appears with Rey. He threatens to kill her if he doesn’t surrender, but Luke makes a plea to let her go. Rey then changes his mind when she makes an interesting bargain, if she goes with him, he’ll tell her who her parents are, he’ll show her the real meaning behind the vision she saw in the last movie and this, to which he agrees. They take off for Mustafar and Luke decides to go after her, but not before a confrontation with Yoda’s Force Ghost who gives Luke some humble advice not to rush off again, but Luke knows he’s got a plan this time and he feels all with go right. Yoda watches once again sorely as the Falcon takes off.
On the Star Destroyer, Rose, Finn, D.J., and BB-8 have disguised themselves as First Order Officers and Droids. But something slips from Rose’s sleeve that catches the attention of one droid, BB-9E and he sets out an alert, rushing our heroes to take action. But once they make it to the Tracking Device, Rose betrays them and gives them over to Captain Phasma (“FN-2187, so good to have you back.”) and her Stormtroopers. On the bridge, Canady is losing patience and orders the full destruction of all the Republic and Resistance ships. Poe and Holdo witness the destruction of one of Holdo’s most prominent ships as they know time is running out and things aren’t going as they planned.
Rey, Kylo, and the Knights arrive on Mustafar where Snoke pretends to greet Rey with open arms but tries to drain her Force Powers. Rey says she’s not scared of him, she knows what she’s done to Ben/Kylo and the Jedi. But Snoke laughs and says she doesn’t know half of it, he reveals the true story behind it saying that he wasn’t just confronted by Luke, Luke was going to kill him. Snoke saw this coming and tried to kill him and when the Temple was being attacked, Luke took action and fought back. He saw Snoke and unleashed his sadness, hatred, and the Dark Side with red Force Lightning on Snoke, deforming him into what he is today. Rey is shocked because she feels betrayed by Luke and says she’ll give whatever she wants over to Snoke. Snoke complies and starts to torture her and Kylo does nothing. Then Luke appears and ignites his green Lightsaber. The Knights of Ren go at him, but Luke uses a Force technique to freeze them in time and he walks toward Snoke as Rey almost falls unconscious. Snoke lets her go and she falls to the floor and Force grabs Luke’s lightsaber, stating that lightsabers won’t be necessary here. Luke gives Snoke a chance to stand down and surrender but Snoke refuses because it’s not worth the plans he has for the Resistance and his friends and family. Luke is confused and Rey wakes up to see Luke and she tries to attack him. Kylo joins in on the duel and he is forced to Force Choke both of them.to stop. Snoke laughs in delight seeing two different families fight for fun. Rey is confused by two different families and Snoke unleashes the Knights of Ren onto them to see if Kylo is ready to become his solo apprentice and if Rey is worthy to be his successor. Luke, Rey, and Kylo all duel and kill the Knights of Ren. Snoke applauds but Rey having enough of this throws her lightsaber at Snoke but it has no effect. Snoke was a Force Projection all this time and he disappears and the draperies fall to reveal from Mustafar’s surface, an Eclipse-Class First Order Star Destroyer as it shakes the planet and emerges from the lava, completely unmelted and unharmed. It takes off to where the Star Destroyer fleet is with Snoke on the bridge and in command.
After it takes off, Rey goes to grab her lightsaber and says they have to hurry and go back to wherever the Resistance is. But Kylo says that it’s time to forget Snoke and let go of the First Order. He wants Rey to join him. Luke begs for Rey to not listen to him and Kylo leisures her more by revealing her parents were related to the great Emperor Sheev Palpatine. Her full name is Rey Palpatine. Palpatine has fallen in love with a woman from the Unknown Regions and had a baby with her, Rey. But when Palpatine died, they went on the run and Luke needed to find her but she wouldn’t give up her child, even though she never knew her husband was a Sith Lord. Her mother dropped her off on Jakku and died at the hands of Luke. Luke pleads for Kylo to stop but he continues on.
“You had a place in this story, Rey. But Luke took it from you. Everyone did.”
But instead of joining the Dark Side, Rey decides to become a Grey Jedi, though not saying the words and she and Kylo duel again and it takes them outside the Castle. Meanwhile, D.J. and Finn are brought before Canady and Hux where they congratulate Rose whose real name is Mereka Tico (Rose was a fake name,) and Phasma gives the orders to execute them. At the Republic and Resistance Fleet, Holdo and Poe have ordered a complete evacuation, and everyone heads to the transports. Between the time we saw them, Poe managed to find an old Rebel Base in the salt world of Crait but they need a distraction. Leia who’s now awake gets an idea and talks to Holdo personally where Holdo cries to her not to do what she’s going to do but Leia’s words are final, even if she’ll never see Luke or Ben it’ll be her last act of rebellion against all evil. Holdo hugs her and weeps and she gives a little gift for Poe and tells her not to open it until the time is right. The gift looks like a Holocron done by Tim Burton. The scenes intercut are Leia’s sacrifice, Kylo and Rey’s duel on Mustafar, and the possible executions of D.J. and Finn. In the duel, Rey loses her right arm and Kylo and she uses the force to break apart Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber; Leia uses Holdo’s main ship to ram it into the Star Destroyer fleet and Snoke’s Eclipse Star Destroyer which in turn kills herself and that too saves D.J. and Finn from being executed.
On the Star Destroyer, Hux and many Stormtroopers are sucked into the vacuum of space and die and D.J. and Finn fight back and try to find Mereka but she escapes with a handful of First Order Officers. But Phasma strikes back with her Stormtroopers and she and Finn have an epic fight until he brings up Starkiller Base and her men try to betray her and she shoots them all down and he knocks her out and she falls into a hole, possibly dead. Then BB-8 comes in to save D.J. and Finn and they head to Crait to meet with the Republic and Resistance. Snoke sees them escaping and orders a full-on attack on Crait against Canady’s will.
Rey frantically wakes aboard the Falcon with a scrappy prosthetic arm and Luke is at her side. He reveals that yes, she is a Palpatine and he recovered her and the broken Lightsaber after the duel and he says that he felt Leia’s death and he knows where the Resistance is. The Falcon arrives at Crait and Luke drops off Rey using a pod and passing by is Finn and D.J. who pick her up and carry her to the surface where the Resistance and Republic are preparing for battle using old Rebel Alliance I-Wing Ski Speeders and possible Hammerhead Corvettes to escape. Holdo and Poe are leading the assault and Rey and Poe have a good reuniting moment with D.J. interrupting it.
Snoke, Kylo, Canady, and the First Order arrive on Crait using First Order AT-MT Walkers and a Superlaser siege cannon. Poe leads the attack and the battle doesn’t look too good as the cannon and walkers fire at the base, destroying the huge blast door and damaging some of the Hammerhead Corvettes with the red crystals falling from the ceiling. Rey is shoot down and is forced to jump out of her speeder. But then in the distance, she sees Luke, holding a scroll. Kylo tries to go after Luke but Snoke holds him back and he says to deploy the Stormtroopers and they charge for Luke but he opens the scroll and reads it, saying some old language brings forth an army of Force Ghost Jedis from the Old Republic era and they charge at the Stormtroopers killing them all and taking down all the Walkers, parallel to Aragon leading the Army of the Undead in “The Lord of the Rings.”
The First Order is forced to retreat and the Resistance and Republic are victorious. Luke is thanked by the Force Ghosts, mainly Mace Windu and they all disappear back to the Netherworld and he is reunited with everyone but Leia. Holdo knowing this is the time to unveil Leia’s gift for Poe shows it and it reveals a message from Leia giving her goodbyes to Poe and that Poe will be in charge from now on and that if Luke sees this message she knows she’s finally with their father and the Force will always be strong with them (Luke and Leia’s theme is played here when she talks about Luke.) Afterward, Luke and Rey (who now has a proper prosthetic arm now) have a moment together reminiscing on the whole movie and he apologizes for lying and it’ll be sometime before she can forgive him but they must continue her training and she must meet somebody first, the Force Ghost of Anakin Skywalker (played by Hayden Christensen.)
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