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A Course of Action Part 40 - The Gears Keep Turning

| First |Previous | Next |
Coalition Space Command Headquarters, Vandenberg Air Force Base, United States of America. One Week Later. 10 Months since First Contact.
General Roberts looked around at his office, taking in all the details for the last time. He sighed, understanding why he had to go, but still upset about it nonetheless. President Kain, after Task Force Bravo had rescued him from the Moon, had been less-than pleased when he had discovered that Moonbase Alpha’s security had been compromised.
The President’s ire had turned to those that ultimately been in charge of security around the satellite outpost. Colonel Straker and General Henderson had been passed over by his wrath for their actions in defending the base. From what Roberts understood, Straker himself had led the charge that had saved Kain from the aliens.
The axe had ultimately fallen on the head of the World Intelligence Network, Director Howard and the Head of Coalition Space Command, i.e., himself.
Roberts looked around his office once more. He took in the light-brown wooden panelling that lined the white painted walls, that familiar grey carpet and the dark-brown door. Out of habit he brushed some dust of the top of his small, but functional desk, before rubbing the dirt off his hand.
His personal belongings were all packed in a black attaché case; the paperwork that had plagued his days in office was all filed neatly in the cabinets that sat next to the desk. Looking out the window at the launchpads and hangar bays that made up the base, he sighed again. He would miss this.
Picking up the attaché case, he turned around and headed for the door. As he opened it, he was surprised to see General Henderson standing there.
“General!” Roberts exclaimed, “Good to see you.”
Henderson grinned.
“Just thought I’d stop by before the official change of command ceremony later,” he said, looking around the office, “Nice place.”
“It’s your place now, or will be soon,” replied Roberts.
“Yes,” mused the other General, “You ready for your next assignment?”
Roberts grimaced.
“Being assigned commander of an outpost specially built for people like me isn’t exactly my idea of heaven,” the former head of Space Command answered, “But at least I’ll get a good view of Jupiter.”
Henderson chuckled.
“Yes… Well,” he held out his hand, “Good Luck, Roberts,” he said, “See you at the ceremony later.”
“Yes, see you,” agreed Roberts, shaking his fellow officer’s hand.
**********************************************************************************
London, England.
Major Black sat in his living room, looking out the window at the street outside. The roads of London were quieter then they had been last time he was home. Since President Kain’s declaration of Total War, all citizens of age, as well as any available resources, had been ‘donated’ to the military. As he watched, a convoy of armoured cars drove past, heading to some unknown destination. Non-military wheeled vehicles were a rarity nowadays, as a lot of the older types of cars still used petrol. Petrol, already fading into the pages of history due to the introduction of alien power cells, had all-but vanished. The last supplies had been recently requisitioned to quench the thirst of the Army’s Motor Corps.
The Major turned away from the window and switched on the T.V., just in time to catch the hourly Coalition News Network, or CoNet, update.
“President Kain will be addressing the General Assembly tomorrow regarding the new Security Reforms,” the news anchor was saying, “While it is unclear at this time what the Reforms will consist of, sources have told CoNet that they are to involve tougher security measures and periodic sweeps for spying devices on Coalition military bases, especially any celestial installations.”
Black snorted in disgust. ‘Isn’t the life of a soldier regulated enough?’ he thought, ‘At this rate it’ll take us half a year just to get through the hangar bay on Alpha.’
The news anchor said some more about the reforms, then switched to a new story.
“Coalition Forces in Delhi report that the clean-up operations in the Indian capital will be completed next month,” the woman read, :The families of those killed during the Consortium attack on Earth last month will be able to pay their respect to their family members the week after operations have ceased,” she finished the brief announcement and moved onto the next news-item.
“NASA hopes to send the first astronauts to the recently-completed Interstellar Colonization Ship Hope next week,” the anchor reported, “However, officials from the space agency are reporting that the launching may be delayed until next month due to as-yet unknown military operations at Moonbase Alpha.”
Black grinned. He knew exactly what those operations were; In three days, when his leave was over, he’d be at the forefront of a Coalition assault on a Consortium-held shipyard, which would supposedly hasten the end of the war.
His grin vanished when he thought of the war. Every soldier in Task Force Bravo more-or-less agreed on the idea that the war was pointless. After all, they had been essentially forced to fight an alien faction for another faction, then they found out that the ones that had pointed them in the direction of their foes were the real enemy.
It was confusing and disillusioning. The Major hoped that the upcoming assault would quicken the end of the war. He was tired of seeing friends and comrades be buried. Just this morning there had been a funeral service for the soldiers killed in action defending the President. Black hadn’t attended personally, but the deaths still struck him nonetheless.
While humanities casualties during this seemingly pointless war had not been anywhere near as numerous as their foes, enough men and women had been lost to anti-air guns, enemy armour, or just lucky shots.
Major Black stared out the window, thinking of the deaths of Corporal Brown and Sergeant Grey. As he sat there, he vowed once again that their deaths wouldn’t be in vain. Humanity would continue to fight the Consortium, and they would win. **********************************************************************************
Stealth Shuttle Excalibur, in orbit around planet Cu’Boyd. 2036 A.D.
The stealth shuttle floated in high orbit over the enemy shipyard. The spacecraft had most of its systems shut down to minimise the chance of detection. This included, to the crew’s discomfort, most of the spacecraft’s complex computer system and the life support. Inside the cockpit, Flight Lieutenants Gavin Harrison and Troy Redfield scanned the planet below, watching for any signs of hostile action towards the shuttle. The spacesuit-wearing R.A.F. astronauts also constantly checked the Excalibur’s passive stealth systems, ensuring that their shield against the prying eyes of the Consortium was still active.
Outside the shuttle, the crew chief, clad in a bulky, white E.V.A. suit, was guiding the shuttle’s payload out of the rear cargo ramp. Said payload was a blocky, rectangular satellite, covered with retracted solar panel arrays and communications dishes. As soon as the smaller spacecraft had cleared the main ship, the crew chief tugged on his safety line, hauling himself back into the payload bay. Pressing the button to close the ramp, he activated his radio.
“Payload’s deployed, sir,” he told the pilots as the hatch slowly closed behind him.
“Roger,” Flight Lieutenant Harrison’s British-accented voice echoed through the crew chief’s helmet, “I’ll take us out of the inner system and contact Command.”
As soon as the pilot had signed off, he began activating the shuttle’s backup guidance systems. The low-power systems sent out less of a signal that could be used to trace the unarmed shuttle. Harrison and Redfield used the shuttle’s manoeuvring thrusters to push the spacecraft onto a trajectory that would take it away from the enemy planet. Before they activated the main engines, Harrison flicked a switch on the dashboard. About two-hundred metres to their stern, the satellite came to life. Solar panels and antennae unfurled themselves as the spacecraft powered up.
Satisfied that everything was working, the crew activated the engines. The quantum-neutrino jet engines flared to life, burning bright blue as they rocketed the shuttle away from the planet. “Command, this is Excalibur,” Flight Lieutenant Harrison spoke into the radio, “Have delivered cargo, returning to base.”
“Roger Excalibur,” Came the reply from Space Command, “See you on the flip side.”
With that, the pilot shut off the radio and activated the warpspace drive. The stealth shuttle faded away in a burst of orange light, just as the aliens’ tracking stations began to notice the ship’s heat signature.
**********************************************************************************
Executive-Director’s Office, Capital.
Director Rytech sat at his desk. Across from him sat Viceroy-Director Flurgeon and Fleet-Director Admiral Zartan. The two military men squirmed under the fierce gaze of the Consortium’s dictator. The only sounds in the room were the ticking of a time-piece, and the humming of the Executive-Director’s desktop computer.
“I am very disappointed, Directors,” Rytech spoke after a few minutes of silence, “Not only have we lost an entire battalion of troops and a platoon of our most skilled warriors, but the humans have also wiped out another fleet of twenty irreplaceable starships, along with their crews!”
“Furthermore,” he continued before any of his guests could speak up, “We lost the only working examples we had of human weaponry! How in the name of the Great Beyond are we to fight them off now?” he raved. The two officers remained silent.
“This had better not happen again,” warned Rytech, “Or the next ship sent to raid Arthrex-III will have you two as passengers!”
**********************************************************************************
Coalition Air Defence Command, formerly NORAD. 2036 A.D.
“We’re getting a strong signal from the satellite, sir,” the technician reported. The Base Commander checked the report on his own console. Just like the man had said, the spy satellite in orbit around the enemy planet was fully operational.
“I confirm,” he replied, “Good. Send a message to Space Command,” he directed another member of the army of techs manning the base’s control stations, “They’ll take it from here.”
submitted by kiwispacemarine to HFY

Sweet Dreams - Chapter 12

Long chapter. They're getting longer as I get closer to the end, for some reason. I like Gob and Tom. Gob, if you can't get a handle on it, should have a personality kind of like a puppy. Maybe not stupid, but very easily distracted. Anyway, I went back and forth over cutting them totally - it's not necessary from a plot standpoint, I could have worked around it- but I decided to leave them in for two reasons. 1) I wanted to show just a bit of some mythological creatures that don't just want to either kill or eat humans, people who liked humanity for it's own sake, and 2) I wanted to show Jackie adapting to this new crazy world and have her take the lead in talking to them. I think it worked on both counts.
Chapter 12 - In which Jackie and Sam attempt a career in radio!
Sam caught up to Jackie and ran alongside her. “That went well,” he said.
Jackie looked sideways at him, then went back to focusing on the road. She nodded. “Better than I thought it would. I didn’t really think I’d have luck getting through to my dad, but I didn’t think there was any way my mom would condemn a bunch of kids to death.” They ran in silence, dodging around crashed and abandoned cars.
“You know, I’m really hoping that we can start putting the world right again. I miss driving places. I’m not really a fan of running.”
Jackie hopped over a pothole. “Feeling a little out of shape?”
“Oh, no, it just brings back unpleasant memories. Usually if I’m running, it’s because I’m being chased.”
“By werewolves?” They jumped over a flattened car in unison.
“Usually peasants, but yeah, sometimes werewolves.” They continued running, and on one street, Jackie slowed and frowned. She came to a stop, and Sam followed her. She sniffed the air.
“Do you smell that?” she asked.
Sam sniffed the air. “Smells like a car on fire.”
Jackie nodded. “Yeah, but why?” She gestured around her. “All of these crashes, these abandoned cars? Those happened weeks ago. They’ve just been sitting since then. So what would have made one explore?”
Sam looked at the cloudless sky. “Completely random lightning strike? I dunno. I was going to say maybe the sun hit something just right, but it’s night out.”
Just then, there was an explosion a few streets away. Jackie started running.
“Wait!” Sam yelled. She came to a stop and turned back to look at him. “Think through this for a second. Something in the town is blowing up cars, and you want to run towards it? And you think that’s a wise thing to do?”
“I at least want to figure out what it is, in case it changes tactics and decides to start blowing us up instead.”
Sam opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “Okay, that’s a good point,” he said, and started running.
What they found when they came to the correct block made them stop and slow again. There was a line of exploded cars down the street, one of which was still burning. There were two small figures on the ground near it.
“Dammit,” hissed Jackie. “What the hell were those kids doing to make a car explode?” She sprinted over to them, but stopped when she got close enough to get a good look.
Sam pulled up next to her. “Oh, well, that explains it.”
The two figures on the ground were slowly coming back to consciousness. Both of them were around four feet tall, or they would have been if they were standing. One was white, with a long grey beard and pointed ears. He was dressed in a red robe and had a pointed hat, and he seemed to have a potbelly. The other was skinny and green, also with pointed ears, huge eyes, a large beaked nose, and dressed in a motley collection of bits of armor and clothes. He was wearing a helmet with a dent in it, and the helmet had a number of different lenses that could be levered down over his left eye. They were moaning on the ground.
“Goblins and gnomes. They were probably tinkering with the cars and blew a couple up.”
“Why the hell would they do that?”
Sam shrugged. “Gnomes are suckers for learning about new things, and as for the explosions, well...that’s a big part of how goblin science advances. Never seen them working together before, but well,” Sam looked around at the abandoned town. “Stranger things have happened. But they’re harmless. Unless you have one for a lab partner.” He bent down. “Hey, you two okay?”
The goblin opened one eye and squinted at Sam. He frowned, then flicked down one of the lenses attached to his helmet and squinted through it, first at Sam, then at Jackie, then nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.” He thumped the armor covering his chest. “Armor’s got an enchantment in it. Standard safety gear.” His voice managed to be squeaky and gravelly at the same time.
The gnome sat up and groaned, putting his hands to his head. “I don’t believe it was supposed to be subjected to so many repeated detonations, though.” His voice was also higher pitched.
The goblin stood up. “Oh come on, it’s fine. These spells are rated for way bigger explosions. Besides, I think I know what we did wrong last time.”
The gnome struggled to his feet. “I already know what we did wrong.”
The goblin perked up. “Really? Tell me!”
“I agreed to go with you on his idiotic trip to the surface. Everything else was a consequence of that.” He worked his shoulder around. “I think that last explosion sprained something.”
“Oh come on! You were the one who asked me to come with! Whatever. I’m going to start on the next one, I think we can keep it from exploding this time.”
“That’s what you said the last dozen times.”
“So statistically, I’m bound to be right this time!” The goblin ran over to the next nearest car and started removing bolts. The gnome sighed and walked after him, and started yelling instructions. Sam and Jackie gave each other a look.
Jackie leaned closer to Sam. “I have to admit, I thought we’d get some kind of reaction out of them.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jackie cleared her throat. “Uh. Hey, hello?”
The goblin glanced over at her. “What? We’re doing cutting edge research here.”
“On...what, exactly?”
The gnome stroked his beard. “Once we figure out how these can be made to work, it will usher in a new era for the underground. We won’t have to rely on the dwarves for our movements anymore.”
“Plus, no goblin has ever exploded at sixty miles an hour before. I’ll be a legend!”
“Okay, but...you know that these aren’t supposed to explode, right?”
The goblin stopped what he was doing, and he was so shocked that he dropped his wrench. He stared at her, openmouthed. “Then what’s the point?”
The gnome threw up his hands. “I told you I didn’t think they were supposed to explode that much.”
Jackie shook her head. “How are you even making them explode?”
“Oh! That’s easy.” The goblin popped up and opened the gas tank. “See, there’s something in here, but every time I try to get a light in there to see what it is,” he grabbed a tool from his belt that burst into flame and drew it closer to the tank.
“DUCK!” screamed the gnome, as he hit the ground. Sam was already cowering behind the wreckage of another car. Jackie dove for the ground right as the vehicle exploded.
After a while, Jackie’s ears stopped ringing. She looked around, and the goblin was laying on the ground. His helmet had a new dent in it. He levered himself up into a sitting position and spat out a tooth. “So yeah, every time I try to get a look inside, that happens. But don’t worry, I’m going to figure it out. If we let explosions hold us back, Goblins would still be trying to blow up rocks.”
Jackie shook her head. “Okay, stop. I can tell you what’s in there. Just...for the love of god, stop blowing up cars. I can tell you everything you want to know about them. I’ve got books about how they work, I’ll let you take them.”
He goblin sprinted over to her and hugged her. “Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU!” he squealed. “I’m Gob Fizzbang. I will be forever in your debt.” He stood back. “Now, where are these books?” He pointed at Sam. “Do you need to send your vampire servant to fetch them?”
“Hey! I’m not a servant!”
Jackie smiled. “We’re in the middle of something right now, but we should be heading back home in a few hours. If you want to come, I can show you the garage. We’ve got Haynes manuals for some common cars, that should be enough to get you started.”
The gnome was stroking his beard. “Tom Tiddlewinks, at your service, Madam. I was afraid we’d be blowing up cars all night.”
Jackie stood. “So, I guess you have some grudge against the humans too? Is that part of why you’re blowing everything up?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other and shook their heads. “Oh no, nothing like that,” Tom said. “When the humans expanded, we went underground to live with the dwarves. It was perfectly fine until they sealed the tunnels. They said it was too dangerous, that humans might find their way in. But no, we have no quarrel with the humans.”
Gob jumped up and down. “They have all the coolest stuff! Way better than the dwarves. And they never trapped us underground for a thousand years.” He looked at the cars. “Dwarvish stuff is way harder to make explode.”
Jackie smiled to herself. “What are dwarves like, anyway?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other. “Well, put it like this. Proportional to their size…” he trailed off.
“Dwarves are the biggest assholes on the planet,” finished Gob. “They’re all ‘don’t touch that’ and ‘how did you get in here?’”.
Tom nodded. “Indeed.”
Sam nodded. “They always were. I’m really not surprised.”
Jackie glanced over at him. “You used to run with dwarves?”
Sam shook his head. “No, nothing like that. But they do a lot of trading. At least, they used to. Tightfisted little bastards, but they do make good stuff. Hey, who else went underground to live with the dwarves?”
Gob shrugged. “Everyone who didn’t want to put up with prissy elves, basically.”
“The gnomes and goblins, obviously, but the drakes as well, and the orcs, they refused to live with the elves, for obvious reasons,” said Tom, and Sam nodded. “Who else...the mole people, of course, some of the sasquatch tried it for a while, but they missed the trees too much. They left, somehow. Oh, and the dinosaurs, of course.”
Sam nodded. “Makes sense.”
Dinosaurs?” said Jackie.
Sam grinned. “Oh yeah. And they don’t look anything like what you picture in your head.”
“Dinosaurs? Like, actual giant animals with the teeth and the horns and everything?”
“How many stories have you heard about an underground kingdom populated by dinosaurs or giant creatures from another realm? Where do you think humans got such a silly idea from?” said Sam. “They used to do tours. It was great, for an extra gold piece you could feed a sheep to a T-Rex.”
“Jesus, that sounds dangerous.”
“Yeah, but if the T-Rex eats you, they refund the money, so it’s not a total loss.” Gob and Tom nodded in agreement.
Jackie shook her head. “Whatever. This is wasting time. We need to get to a radio. You two want to come with or you want us to meet you back here when we’re done?”
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “What, pray tell, is a radio?” asked Tom.
“Uh...it’s a radio. It’s a device for sending messages over a long distance? And for receiving them?”
“And this is a device that humans made?”
“Yeah, about a hundred years ago? Hundred and fifty? Something like that.”
Gob started hopping up and down, and he held his hands in front of him, “Oh please please please please, can we come with? Please?”
“I believe this could be quite instructive, Miss Jackie, if you would allow us to accompany you, we would appreciate it.”
“I’ll name an explosion after you!” squeaked Gob.
“Well, okay, can you keep up with us though?”
“Oh! I’ve got something for that!” Gob darted over to his pack. He threw a pair of boots at Tom, and started putting a pair on his own feet. “Goblin rocket boots. There’s no finer way to travel!” Tom sighed and started putting them on as well.
“They do work very well, Miss Jackie, they just have a slight tendency to, well…”
“Explode?” asked Jackie. Tom nodded morosely.
“Nonsense! These are Mark seventeens! Lowest rate of explosion of any ever created. Perfectly safe. Unless they explode. But that almost never happens.” Gob popped up and shook his feet. “Where are we going?”
Sam held up his hands. “Don’t look at me, I’m not from around here. I’m just following Jackie.”
Gob waved that off. “Well no, I wouldn’t expect a servant to know anything important.”
“Hey! Not a servant!”
“Hey Sam, knock that off or I won’t give you a bonus this christmas,” Jackie said, grinning at him. Sam glared at her.
“Okay, so, last one to the community college is a rotten egg. Follow me!” Jackie shifted to halfway and took off down the street. Sam followed her. Behind her, catching up quickly, came the voices of Tom and Gob.
“Gob, are my boots supposed to be smoking already?”
“WHEEEEEEEEE!”
Jackie slowed to a stop, Sam matching her. Someone had graffitied the sign out in front of the college. Now it read ‘Where students come TO DIE’. She looked around, and jumped out of the way of Gob, as he flew past her to slam into the sign, his boots still smoking. Tom slowed to a stop next to Sam, and fell over as his boots abruptly cut out.
Jackie gasped as Gob hit the sign, and she ran over to him. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Gob waved her off. “Yeah, I’m fine. That was actually pretty good.”
Sam walked up behind her. “Goblins are pretty tough, even without magic armor. I think it’s a product of evolution.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if your race tries to advance itself by blowing things up, you eventually breed a race of people that’s immune to explosions..”
“That’s not how evolution works, Sam.”
Sam shrugged. “You find a better explanation, I’d like to hear it.”
Jackie stood back up and surveyed the campus. Like everything else, it was a mixture of abandoned buildings and smashed in windows. “Jesus, someone even tore down the cell phone tower,” she muttered,
Tom walked up to them, holding the boots at arms length. “That would be the elves, Miss Jackie. We’ve seen some of them doing things like that, we don’t know why.”
Gob struggled to his feet. “Yeah, they didn’t even try to blow them up.”
Sam made a face. “Things like what, Tom?”
Tom raised his eyebrows but answered “Those...metal towers. And some of the other ones, the tall ones with cables strung from them. They seem to think it some kind of game.”
“Yeah, they dance and sing and get hammered and then hack away with their axes and it comes down. They take turns, and they all cheer when one falls.”
“Fucking elves,” Sam muttered under his breath.
“Are those assholes the reason I haven’t had any internet for months?” yelled Jackie.
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “I’m not sure, Miss Jackie.”
“What's the internet?” added Gob.
“Yeah, probably,” said Sam. “Don’t know why they would even bother. Not like there’s all that many people around to use it.”
“Well I wanted to use it! Do you know how much easier the apocalypse would be with streaming services?”
Gob, Tom, and Sam shared a look. “No,” they said in unison.
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She started walking into the college. “Lets go.” Gob and Tom scampered after her, jogging to keep up, and Sam took up the rear.
“So, where are we headed, anyway?” asked Sam.
Jackie stopped just inside to examine a map. “I’m not sure where, but I know there’s a radio station that broadcasts out of here. Used to broadcast, anyway. The local NPR station. I figure if there’s radio equipment, that’s probably the best place to look.” She stabbed her finger into the map. “There. We need to get through here, and then cross the cafeteria, then jog across the quad, and we should be good.”
“Assuming the elves haven’t chopped down the transmitter,” grumbled Sam.
“You think they would?”
Sam shrugged. “No way to know, honestly. I never understand half the things they do. Just saying.”
Jackie nodded. “Noted.” She started walking, and everyone else followed. Tom walked at her side, and Gob ran ahead and jumped up to look through every door they passed.
“What’s in here? Desks. And this room is...more desks. But I’ll bet over here, there must be...nuts. More desks.” He gave Jackie a look. “Why would you build this place and the just fill every room with desks?”
Tom cleared his throat. “I believe it’s a house of learning, Gob. A place of instruction, where people might come to learn from their elders.” He looked nervously up at Jackie. “Is...that correct?”
Jackie smiled at him. “Yup.”
Gob jumped up to look through a few more doors, then stopped and walked with them. “So...nothing that explodes at all?”
“In the chemistry department, sure. I think that’s a few buildings over.”
“Hot damn! I want to learn chemistry!”
Jackie laughed at his enthusiasm. “Later. Right now we need to cut across this,” she opened the door to the quad, “to get to that.” She pointed at the building housing the radio station, which thankfully still seemed to have it’s tower up.
For chemistry!” screamed Gob, and charged across the outside area. The rest of them caught up with him, where he was stubbornly pushing on a door.
Sam coughed behind him. “You have to pull on it.”
“Oh! Of course!” Gob hauled the door open. “Thank you, Mr. Vampire Servant. Please, enter.”
“I’m not a...you know what, forget it. Happy to help.” Sam walked in and flipped the light switch, and the fluorescent bulbs flickered to life down the short hallway. He looked around. “Well, that’s good, at least. Looks like the solar panels still work.”
Jackie nodded. “Encouraging. I haven’t been here in years, but I think...yeah, this way.” She opened one of the doors and marched down it, her entourage in tow. After about twenty feet, she stopped again. “Okay, so this is the broadcasting booth…” she said slowly. She stared at the room with it’s unfamiliar dials and switches. “So now we need to do...something.”
Sam looked at her. “You mean you don’t know? Why the hell did we come all this way, then?”
“I don’t know, I thought it would be easy, you know, flip a button and hit send. I didn’t imagine…” she waved at the control panels. “this.” She looked around the room. “Maybe there’s a manual or something laying around? Search the cabinets?”
There was a manual laying in the bottom of a cabinet, and it did seem to be for the equipment in front of them, but it was also only slightly smaller than the average dictionary. They looked at it in apprehension.
Sam snorted. “This is going to take forever.”
“Well, do you have a better idea?”
“If I may, Miss Jackie,” said Tom. “If you would allow Gob and myself to examine the manual, I believe we can dispense with it quickly.”
“We read fast,” said Gob.
Jackie and Sam looked at each other. Sam shrugged. “Worth a shot. Gnomes can soak up knowledge like nobody's business. And goblins have a knack for working with technology.”
“Yeah, but what if the technology doesn’t explode?”
“They tend to get bored and eventually move to something else. But we just need to get it working for a minute, right?”
Jackie stepped away from the manual. “Be my guest, gentlemen.” Tom and Gob wrestled the manual onto the ground, and started flipping through it, occasionally making each other pause so they could go back over a section. They talked to themselves as they worked, Gob in a language that sounded like rocks being banged together, and Tom in some sort of language that mostly seemed to consist of the letters g and n.
“You think they can go from not knowing what a radio is to making one work for us in one night?” whispered Jackie.
“Maybe. Thing is, gnomes are the ultimate librarians. They can read at insane speeds and retain almost all of it, but they’re total crap at applications. Hand them a hammer and they’ll probably just drop it on their foot. Goblins are at the other end of the spectrum; they’re all about the application. You wouldn’t guess it from what they were doing earlier, but I’ll bet they were just excited. Goblins can make some truly incredible things, but they have the attention span of a flea. A goblin and a gnome working together? Yeah, they might be able to do it.”
After twenty minutes, Tom and Gob looked up. “I believe we can activate this device, Miss Jackie.”
“Piece of cake.”
They started running around the room, flipping switches and yelling to each other. After a few minutes, the room was lit up, and the broadcast booth looked, to Jackie’s untrained eye, ready to broadcast.
Jackie put her hand on the knob to the booth, and then said, “Wait, guys, can we just turn on a radio and listen? If there’s anybody out there, they might already be broadcasting.”
“Who listens to radio anymore?” asked Sam.
“I don’t know, but it’s what we were going to try, so maybe someone else had the same idea?”
Sam opened his mouth, then closed it and thought. “You know, yeah, worth a shot.”
“Simplicity itself, Miss Jackie. Gob, would you do the honors?” Gob saluted, and then flipped a switch. Static filled the room. “And I believe this is the tuning knob,” said Tom, and started adjusting the frequency. Gob was flipping through an appendix in the back of the manual. He didn’t have to turn it for very long before the government klaxons of the emergency broadcast system began emanating forth.
“Can we turn it down?” Jackie yelled. Tom nodded and fiddled with another knob, and it diminished to a merely annoying drone. “That was easier than I thought.”
A robotic voice started speaking. “In accordance with the Emergency Powers and Government Reorganization Act of 2045, all radio broadcasting equipment is required to play this message on a loop until further notice. All citizens receiving this notification are to report to the nearest government outpost for quarantine and treatment. Your nearest government location is -” and here another voice cut in - “Rochester, minnesota.” The original voice came back. “All who are able are required by law to report to the nearest government center to rejoin the United States as we rebuild our nation, and then our world. May God have mercy on us all. Message repeats.”
The klaxons sounded again, and Jackie nodded at Tom. “You can turn it off now.” Tom nodded.
Jackie sighed. “Well, it’s a direction, anyway.”
“Where are we in relation to rochester? Carl and I had to take kind of a weird path to get here.”
Jackie pursed her mouth. “Fifty miles away? Maybe a hundred? It’d be easy if we could take the roads, but the highways are impassable now with all the crashes.”
Sam nodded. “Good thing the kids have a bunch of werewolves to ride then, right?”
Jackie gave him a look of horror. “Oh God no. My Dad would shit a brick.”
Sam grinned. “Yeah, but I think your mom would shove it right back up his ass and tell him to carry two.”
Slowly, Jackie broke into a smile. “Actually, I think you’re right.” She looked at Tom and Gob. “What do you say? You two want to join us?”
Tom and Gob whispered to each other, shooting Jackie furtive looks the whole time. Eventually, Tom cleared his throat and spoke. “While we greatly appreciate the offer, Miss Jackie, we aren’t sure how long we’re going to spend on the surface, and we’d like to spend as much of it as possible studying human technology. Why, just with what we’ve learned from this manual, we could revolutionize some aspects of society in the Underground.”
“Just wait until I teach them chemistry! How do I learn chemistry?”
Jackie laughed. “You know, it’s nice to meet other...beings who don’t want to kill all the humans.”
“Hey, I don’t want to kill all the humans,” said Sam.
Tom smiled. “We never really had much quarrel with humanity, Miss Jackie, we just got tired of them expanding everywhere. We had to move every couple centuries, and it got tiresome, that’s all. You’ve invented so many wonderful things up here, we’re just happy to have the chance to learn.”
“You guys have all the coolest stuff!
“Sure Sam. Sure. Uh, well, I guess I can show you the library. That should get you started. After that you’re on your own.” Gob and Tom scampered off ahead of her and waited for her to catch up.
“You know what they say about how a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing?” asked Sam, as they walked across the quad. Jackie nodded, and he continued. “I’ve got a feeling that with those two, we’re about to find out exactly how accurate that is.”
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